Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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