no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
