Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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