found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
