Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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