At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
When are your genitals available?
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