i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
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He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
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I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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