Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
