so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You made out with two different species that night
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
