Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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