Ambien. No doubt about it.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
