Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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