is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
