google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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