I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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