I wanna passion pit in your ass
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
