maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
