his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
