shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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