yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
