Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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