She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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