At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I have tasted many bathrooms
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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