What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
