I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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