hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
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Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
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THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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