I'd wear matching sweaters with you
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize