still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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