I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
