Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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