She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So gin and wine won't be happening again
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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