Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
