so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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