Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
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