Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
