if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
you had me at cake vodka
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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