just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
