I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
