Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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