I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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