She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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