when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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