this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
