She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
