Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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