im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
