so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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