omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
