she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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