for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
