Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry dick_juggler2000 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(702): View more from Nevada

was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars

Fav 35 1529 4559
share tweet
(408): View more from California

Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.

Fav 41 7150 1586
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(816): View more from Missouri

She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.

Fav 19 2188 5870
share tweet
(817): View more from Texas

I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in

Fav 6 3421 1239
share tweet
(530): View more from California

Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.

Fav 15 1659 2217
share tweet
(916): View more from California

Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.

Fav 3 2193 815
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(949): View more from California

One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.

Fav 6 2114 816
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(860): View more from Connecticut

I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.

Fav 8 84 20
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(210): View more from Texas

Anything special planned for Valentines Day?

(310): View more from California

Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?

Fav 0 64 89
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT