yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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