Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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