This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Please don't give away my fajitas
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
