she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
