how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
