I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
